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Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Baby... blues?
I've been having a lot of trouble adjusting to this two babies/no sleep again/exhaustion/laundry all the time/breastfeeding all the time/dealing with crying all the time lifestyle. I don't know if I'm still having a lot of hormonal issues from the pregnancy to post-partum stage or what, but to say it's been hard would be an understatement. It's hard being alone all day with him. It's hard not having family close by that can help out, come over to give me a little break, or just to bring us a quick McDonald's lunch. (yes, I'd even take McDonald's just to not have to try to make something!) Just the other day, I had to go out back on the porch and eat while Aiden just sat in his swing and cried. I had just fed him, changed him, burped him (where he proceeded to throw up...), changed his clothes, and he should have been just fine. But, he wasn't, for whatever reason. So, he cried, while I sat in tears out back eating a quick lunch... then tried to gather myself and find courage to go back in and deal with him again. I know a lot of parents go through this, but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one. You know you've got those people when you ask how things are going with their new baby, and they say, "Oh he's wonderful! Slept through the night ever since we brought him home from the hospital! He's so sweet, just as quiet as can be, blah blah..." Well, they are lying. Or at least, I hope they're lying... at least a little bit. I don't want to believe that I'm the only one with a baby who cries, doesn't sleep, wants to eat all the time, and is just plain exhausting. Sure, I love the snuggles and the falling asleep on me and the cute baby toes... but in all honesty, I could do without the baby stage. That doesn't mean I don't love my baby to pieces... because I definitely do. I love both of my babies so much it hurts. That's possibly why I'm so hurt that sometimes, I have no idea why he's crying or what to do to make it better. But, I try the best I can, try to show both of them, and especially Aiden during these long days (and even longer nights) alone with him, that I love them so much that sometimes, it's really, literally hurts.
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Always precious when he's sleeping <3
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Aww Brittany! It does get better, which you know, even though it doesnt seem like there is any end to it right now. Sometimes it's nice to get away from everything for a few minutes and take time for yourself. Jake was my throw up/cry-all-the-time baby and I completely understand how hard it can be. Jake was content occassionally with laying on my arm, on his belly.. Like, his face by my elbow, on his belly with his little butt in the arm on my palm. I also had post partum with Carter and it's so hard to deal with. I wish you all the best of luck in the world. Just remember, you got this!! Adjusting to 2 babies is hard, but you're a strong woman and you can do this. =)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words Dawn :)
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