Happy (belated) Father's Day

Here's the link in case the video doesn't show up.

I came across this yesterday and I have to admit it choked me up quite a bit. I won't lie, I probably watched it about 5 times back-to-back because of how much it grabbed me.

In my opinion, THIS is what Father's Day should be about. In my humble opinion, there are way too many videos and articles out there now where all the parent talks about is how they don't want to be with their children on their respective "holiday." And it's not just Father's Day, it happens on Mother's Day too - all that parent wants is to be left alone and have a day of relaxation to themselves.

Well, I think that mindset stinks on toast. Look, I get where they are coming from - everyone needs a little R&R every once in a while. But pick a different day to do it. How about the Saturday after Mother's Day to go get a massage and a mani/pedi? How about the week before Father's Day to go fishing with the fellas? But not on the actual day!

Come on, people... they're your friggin' kids, not some annoyance you just have to deal with. I get that you need a break, trust me, I know. But you signed up for this deal, and that means you're on duty 24/7 until they are grown and gone. Until then, get your rear end in gear. As I mentioned I've watched this video quite a few times... and I didn't see any shots of the dad sitting on the couch. Or lying in bed. Or out bar-hopping with his buddies.

The point I'm trying to make is near and dear to my heart. Father's (and Mother's) Day should be spent with your kids, not without them. Do you know what all the deployed soldiers would give to be back home with their kids on Father's Day? They would probably puke if they knew how much we civilians joke about avoiding our kids on those special days. Or what about the fathers who have lost their children to car accidents, cancer, or these mindless school shootings? Try asking one of them how they feel inside every year when Father's Day rolls around and they spend it visiting their child's grave instead of their playhouse.

The video is called "Calls for Dad" for a reason. Come on, dads... answer that call. Don't take Father's Day for granted. Spend time with your kids. Because there are lots of fathers out there who don't get the option.

Grinding it out

Nothing really Earth-shattering going on at the moment, just marching our way towards summer and all that entails. A few updates on things here and there, just to keep you in the know.

The “new house” is slowly but surely coming together. We still have a ways to go to make it perfect (if there is such a thing), but little by little we’re getting things looking the way we want them. We’ve painted our bedroom and have decorated (most of) the walls with pictures and other artwork that Mommy B has acquired/created. We also purchased a desk so we could have the computer in a more permanent location than the kitchen bar area. Having this desk set up also allowed us to put away and organize some of the few remaining boxes of stuff we still had lingering around. The computer and our paperwork now have a home and our bedroom looks much less cluttered. I feel better now.

Next on the honey-do list was painting and updating the laundry room. The previous owners (bless their hearts) painted the laundry room this dark, burnt-brick color that makes the poor room look ever more claustrophobic than it already is. This is the second time in as many houses I’ve owned that the previous owner painted some random room that color – must be a southern thing. In any case, that color choice and the single ventilated shelf wasn’t going to cut it for us, so we gutted it and are starting over. I’ve spent the last couple of nights cleaning, mudding, taping, and painting to get this room looking much more inviting. Not that someone ever really wants to spend copious amounts of time in the laundry room, but we figured with two kids we’ll be spending enough time in there that it should look better than it did. Tonight I’ll be sanding the holes I patched and putting on the final coat of paint. Then we’ll be calling in the professional, a.k.a. Pops, to help us install some shelving and cabinets to put the finishing touches on the room.

Since the weather has been so nice the last couple of weeks, I’ve also been doing some outside chores that needed to get done. Said chores include trimming the dead prons of a couple of the palm trees we have in our yard (I know, tough life, right?), cutting down a small tree, and clearing about 800 square feet of woods/brush from behind our back fence. Much of the foliage was starting to creep over the fence and into the yard, and the decomposing brush just beyond the fence had the potential to house various snakes and other critters. Well, with two small children and a nosy dog just feet away, I knew that had to get addressed. Pops and I got out the chainsaw and limb cutters and went to town. Not only did it clean up much of the crap that had been just tossed over the fence for years, but it also exposed some huge palm trees that were previously hard to see from the house. Nothing like improving your view from the porch while making the place a little safer for the kiddos, am I right? I’m sure the deer appreciate a nice clean walking path as well.

Once the laundry room gets its final coat, the next room to paint will be the playroom. We already have the supplies (including the paint) and Mommy B has already taped off the majority of the room. So once I finish in the laundry, we’ll head upstairs and begin cutting in. My hope is that we’ll be able to get cut in and I can come hard with the roller and knock it out. Our goal is to get the room painted as soon as possible so we can begin hanging up some Ringling posters and other circus memorabilia. The room has looked pretty bare since we moved in, and even though we finally have a pull-out couch for guests to use, we still want to get the room decorated for any potential visitors.

Mommy B is on her last “break” before her final quarter of school. We’re trying to get as much done around the house as we can while she’s free because once this final quarter starts, I might not be seeing her very much. For this final quarter, she has to shadow some other nurses during her already-limited “free time.” I forget how many hours she’ll have to log for these classes, but it could entail her entire day off each week as well as some hours here and there after her regular 9-hour shifts. She might even pick up some Saturday shifts so that she can have another day off during the week to shadow. Bottom line, it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be much fun for the next 12 weeks… for anyone. But, the silver lining is that this is the last quarter, the last dance, the anchor leg, the final 100 meters down the home straightaway towards the finish line. Anything and everything that’s left in the tank gets used right now. The end is in sight, and she’s almost there. It’s been tough, but we’re optimistic that it’ll all be worth it when it’s over. I know a certain someone who’ll be looking for a big ol’ bottle of wine come August. And maybe a vacation to somewhere more tropical.

Kids? Oh yeah, them. Well, they’re still simultaneously testing our patience and stealing our hearts on a constant basis. The things that Alli puts together and figures out on an almost-daily basis astounds me. Even when they’re mildly gross and/or inappropriate, I still stop and think to myself, “Wow, she really thought of all that on her own?” For example, last week she randomly said “We don’t go pee-pee in the pool because it’ll turn yellow… and the pool has to stay blue.” Well, not quite the reason I would have given, but I like where you’re going with that one. A few hours later in the bathtub, she said “If you toot in the bathtub, it’ll make bubbles.” That is A) gross, and B) very true. Good observation, precious. Not all of her proclamations lately have been of the bodily-function variety, but you get my point. Grossness aside, these were statements she conjured up all on her own, without any input from anyone… she was simply stating something she figured out on her own. Hopefully not from experience with the whole peeing-in-the-pool statement… but you never know.

Aiden is fitting right in with his new classroom. Granted, he has known most (if not all) of the boys he’s in there with for a long time. But his teacher said it took him less than a week to really come out of his shell and stop playing the shy, quiet kid. We all knew better, and figured it would just be a matter of time before he started being his usual self. He’s saying more and more words these days, and if I can’t understand what he’s saying, Alli will translate for me. He still wants to do everything big sister does – if not before her, then immediately afterward. We took him to the pool a couple weeks ago and tried out some puddle jumpers that actually fit him now. Yeah, it took him about 2 minutes to figure them out and start swimming after his big sister. They are both such water babies, which is a good thing living on the coast. We haven’t taken them to the beach yet this year, but I have a feeling that might change very soon.

My brother’s wife and their two kids are coming down for the long Memorial Day weekend. Our plans basically include spending as much time outside and on my parent’s boat as possible. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous, which will be a nice change since the last time they came down it rained the whole time. I’m really hoping that Alli and her cousin Max pick up right where they left off last time, because they were absolutely adorable to watch playing together. I’m sure Aiden will try to keep up, as will his cousin Charlotte, but I’m sure that will come with time. Just gotta keep on grindin’…

It’s that time again

The time has come for Aiden to move up to the next class at school. He’s a rompin’, stompin’ terrible-two-year-old who’s ready to start playing with the bigger kids. He’s about the same size as them anyway, so why not? This week marked his last week in the “Toddler” class at school, and he’s been visiting his new classroom each afternoon to get acclimated to it. His new teacher has known Alli since she was in the infant classroom, and even though she technically never had Alli in her class, she knows all about these two troublemakers.

This move means a couple interesting changes for everyone. First, it means that instead of dropping Aiden off in the “younger kid’s” room then taking Alli down to the “bigger kid’s” room in the mornings, now I’ll be taking them both down to the same room. Since I drop them off so early, they usually gather all the kids into a couple rooms before splitting off into their individual classrooms. Since his new teacher is the one who watches that room in the mornings, she told us yesterday to just bring him down there from now on. I said, “Okay… you asked for it.” So last night we kept telling Alli how her bro was going to come with her to her room in the mornings now, and she was so excited. We have a little ritual of getting a package of crackers when we walk in the door and she’ll sit down at the table in her room and eat them before she starts playing. I told her that now she’ll get to sit with Aiden and both of them will have crackers each morning. She couldn’t wait to get to school the next day, it was so adorable. With this new class also begins the always adventurous potty training endeavor. He seems to be grasping the concept of the potty (after watching big sister so much) and tells us he’s gone after the fact, but we’re working on it.

This morning came and went exactly the way I thought it would. We got to school and instead of taking Aiden to the right, then Alli back to the left – we all turned left, grabbed a package of crackers and headed toward the “big kid room”. We made a pit stop in Alli’s classroom so she could drop off a present for her teacher (since it’s Teacher Appreciation Week) and use the potty.

We then went back to what will be Aiden’s classroom for the next year or so. Alli went flying in as usual because she knows that room well and many of her friends were already there waiting for her. Aiden was a little hesitant when we hit the doorway, so I scooped him up and gave him a big hug. Alli was already saddling up to the table getting ready to devour her crackers, and she had a seat saved for her little brother right next to her. Aiden was a little clingy at first, but once I showed him that he has his very own package of crackers and asked him if he wanted to sit next to Alli, he couldn’t get down fast enough. I opened both packages for them and naturally they both dug right in. I knelt down in between them and gave them both big kisses and hugs. I looked at Aiden and told him to have fun (and to behave) hangin’ with his big sister. I then turned to Alli and said, “Listen Al, you take care of your little bro, okay?” She looked up at me and with a mouth full of saltines replied, “Okay, Daddy.”

I got up and walked out feeling so proud of those little buggers. They haven’t exactly been a picnic lately, as Alli has been picking up a little attitude (we call it being a “Threenager”) and Aiden has been mimicking her every move in addition to becoming more independent himself. She runs around, he runs around. She whines and cries, he follows suit. I know this is completely typical (and normal) at this age, but it still tests your patience. I’ve said it a hundred times – now I know what it feels like to live with someone who’s bipolar. You say one thing wrong and it’s a total meltdown. You try to speak softly and calm them down, and it just makes things worse. Two minutes later they’re happy and laughing again. The phrase “emotional rollercoaster” has never been more appropriate in our house at the moment. So, witnessing this moment this morning was quite a lovely change of pace.

I wish I could have taken a picture of them sitting at the table together to mark the occasion, but a mental picture will have to suffice for now. Maybe I’ll get one on Monday, if I remember. The real reason I wanted to capture this moment is because I know that in a few years, it won’t be cool to hang out with your sibling. Especially your “little bro”, in Alli’s case. They looked so happy to be together even though they play together at home all the time. I’m really hoping they continue to build that strong bond that only siblings can know and feel. As for me, I have to deal with the fact that we don’t have any “babies” anymore… and I’m not liking it as much as I thought I would. Sort of.

Answer to your homework assignment

I posted a homework assignment a few weeks ago asking youse to make some daily observances. I asked you to simply observe how men are portrayed versus their female counterparts in television commercials. Well, who did their homework? Show of hands… come on, don’t be shy. Did anyone complete their assignment? I’m going to assume not many, so I’ll go ahead and give you my take on things.

Short answer:  Dumb

Long answer: Men, as a collective whole, have allowed ourselves to become the butt of just about every joke running these days. Except for the investment commercials and the ones about “building a smarter planet”, we males look pretty stupid in the media. We can’t cook, handle new technology, correctly buy a car or bathe properly… and don’t even get me started on handling children (even our own). Any commercial that is intended to be light-hearted and funny typically involves making the male look like an idiot. In the eyes of marketing agencies across the country, we men are nothing more than Homer Simpson or Al Bundy (from the Married with Children sitcom, for you young kids) – a useless, balding, overweight buffoon bumbling through life only caring about junk food, TV and beer.

And it’s not isolated to college-age frat boys who are having trouble deciding what booze their going to swizzle all weekend. It can range from elementary school boys appearing dumb in class all the way to an AT&T commercial where the father can’t quite seem to wrap his mind around wireless internet. Men, in general, have it pretty bad in the overwhelming majority of these commercials… but fathers have it the worst.

Josh Levs, of CNN, wrote an excellent article on this very issue – it’s titled, “No more dumb old dad: Changing the bumbling father stereotype.” He references a Huggies ad that aired last year that put its diapers “to the toughest test imaginable: dads, alone with their babies, in one house, for five days.” What exactly made time with dad “the toughest test imaginable?” Are we, as fathers, more distracted with watching the double-overtime thriller so as to not change our child’s diaper?

I realize that it’s only natural for comedies and sitcoms to take on dads. After years of “Leave It to Beaver” and “The Donna Reed Show”, television had evolved (and I use that term loosely) into a different animal. Inversion became the key to comedy – taking people who are typically in authority and control and making them the butt of jokes. I also understand that the majority of these portrayals are in fictional situations. However, perception is reality – and I perceive that we dads are looking pretty dumb these days.

The main issue I have with this – is that young boys who don’t understand the sarcasm and fictional nature of these commercials are going to think this is what is expected of them… and they’re going to rise only to the low bar that’s been set for them. Furthermore, it could lead young girls to have low expectation for how their future husbands will handle fatherhood. It’s no wonder so many people are waiting longer and longer to have kids. For any young single woman out there who sees these commercials and thinks this is what we men are like in general, I can see where they might want to hold off on the baby-making for a while. Heck, I wouldn’t want to have kids with someone who acted like most dads do in these commercials either.

I was going to get on my soap box and rant for a little bit, but decided against it. After all, women have been oppressed for so long that a few tongue-in-cheek commercials can’t even hold a candle to what they’ve been through. And maybe, just maybe, some of this harsh criticism isn’t so undeserved. I can’t tell you how many kids’ birthday parties I’ve been to where the mom shows up with her child (or children, most of the time) and the dad is nowhere to be found. I can somewhat understand if said parents only have one child and dad is at home getting some yard work done, but many times I see the mom show up with multiple kids, and there isn’t a helping hand in sight. When you have three kids under the age of four, maybe you should help your poor wife out a bit, yeah?

It all boils down to priorities – what are your priorities as a man? As a parent? As a father? I think the comedy behind these commercials is derived from mocking our manly priorities… they’re a metaphor for how men have historically thought about certain things. It goes back to the Huggies commercial – are these fathers going to be too preoccupied with other activities that the diapers are going to have to hold up for hours on end? Are changing poopy diapers simply not that high on our “important things to do” list?

For many, the answer is yes – which is the reason these commercials can be made in the first place. For all you dual-career parents out there: wake up, men. It’s the 21^st century. Women are showing their “tougher” side by getting their butts into the workplace (and many times running the joint,) so now it’s our turn to show our “softer” side and get to parenting. You don’t just get to show up for one night of fun and expect the woman to handle everything that comes afterward – unless you already have such an agreed-upon arrangement, in which case you can disregard this whole blog post. In most cases, gone are the days of the single-income family where dad goes to work and mom stays home with the kids. If your wife is busting her butt all week long with a full-time job just like you, guess what that means? It means she’s just as tired as you at the end of the week and could use a hand. Don’t expect her to taxi the kids around all weekend while you watch football and tinker around in the garage. What’s that you say? You’ll miss getting your hands dirty? Try changing a diaper after your kid ate a whole plate of refried beans and corn the night before. Trust me, your hands will be plenty dirty after that.

I’m certainly not here claiming to be the perfect father, because as I’ve said numerous times, there is no such thing. But, I try every single day to be the best one that I can be. Mommy B and I put in (almost) the same amount of hours at work each week, which means I damn sure put in the same amount of hours with the kids as she does. But it shouldn’t be just about the amount of time you spend with your kids, it should be about the quality of the time you spend with your kids. Dads should want to go to the birthday parties at this age while your kid will still let you… because soon they won’t, and you’ll be sorry you missed your chance. Remember, we’re only “cool” for a little while – and you better take advantage while you can.

Come on, guys… don’t be the dumb-old-dad who doesn’t know how to fold his daughter’s clothes, be the fun dad that tumbles around on the play mats at the little kid’s gym. Don’t sit and watch – get up and do. It’s time to buck the stereotype, and it starts with the little things we do every day. Some may think I’m crazy saying that we all have to be some super-dad that does everything. So be it.

I just call it being… a dad.

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In case the video doesn't show up (which it should on Google Chrome), here is a link to it:
World's Toughest Job

We do it all for you, buddy

Frequent pursuers of This Space have read about Aiden’s sinus conditions for the past couple of months now. Well, Sunday night/Monday morning, they finally came to a head. Let me back things up a bit to paint the full picture of what the poor kid has been through recently.

About a month or so ago, Aiden started getting his usual snotty nose coupled with a raspy cough. He was also getting pretty congested at night which was making things hard for him to breathe. Naturally, when it’s hard to breathe at night, it becomes hard to sleep. When it’s hard to sleep, it keeps Mommy B and Dad-E awake. We took him to the doctor after a few rough nights and the diagnosis was springtime allergies. I always had bad sinuses and allergies as a kid, but not caused by the pollen like we have here in the south. In any case, the doctor said that not only did it appear Aiden was getting hit hard with allergies, but he also had pretty swollen tonsils and his adenoids were huge. I quickly flashed back to when I was about 4-5 years old getting Strep Throat every six weeks. It got so bad that I eventually had my tonsils and adenoids (T&A) removed around age six. In any case, they prescribed some allergy medicine that would help with his symptoms – Singulair in pill form and over-the-counter Zyrtec in liquid form. We started giving it to Aiden that night and after a few days he seemed to clear up quite a bit.

We thought we were on a roll as he was sleeping better and not looking quite as zombie-like during the day. No big circles under his eyes and almost no coughing. However, that was short-lived as two weeks ago he started to get really congested again. The doctor prescribed some Amoxicillin to break things up this time, and coupled with the allergy meds things started to slowly get better. Keep in mind that each time he has one of these “episodes”, his breathing at night sounds horrendous and it causes him to wake up and move around quite a bit. I totally get it, as I went through it as a kid too. You breathe through your nose while you sleep, and you can’t do that when it’s stuffed up. So, the only other way to go is through the mouth. Well, when your tonsils and adenoids are the size of golf balls, that makes things a little difficult. Put all those factors together, and you have a recipe for not sleeping – for anyone.

After 10 days of antibiotics, we thought we were once again in the clear. The spring allergens were dissipating and he was starting to get some halfway decent sleep (as were we). It was a Thursday, and I had just given him his very last dose of the pink stuff that morning, when his school called at 2:30pm. His teacher said that he felt warm when he woke up from his nap, so she took his temperature and it read 100.9. Needless to say, we needed to come pick him up and get him home. There had been a few cases of Pink Eye and various other illnesses in his class recently, so we weren’t all that surprised that he eventually had caught something. We started giving him some Motrin to help with the fever, but he still woke up once during the night. Luckily I was able to get some Tylenol in him and he went back to sleep.

Since you’re not allowed to bring a child back to school until they have been fever-free for 24 hours, it meant he was going to have to stay home with my mom (Tatsy) while I took Alli to school that Friday. He took an early nap that day, and even though he acted normal for the most part, he was still showing signs of a low-grade fever. Even during his naps his breathing sounded terrible… I just can’t imagine that he’s gotten any decent sleep lately. Friday night came around and again he only woke up once, but still required a visit from me and more medicine to keep him from burning up. He still “slept” pretty well the rest of the night, but it just sounded like torture to struggle that much just to breathe at night.

Saturday rolled around and Mommy B decided to take Alli and make a mini road trip to Charlotte for a friend’s kid’s birthday party. That was fine with me – it would get the girls out of the house for a bit and leave Aiden and I to deal with his illness, all the while Mommy B and Alli could get some quality friend time. Might help them recharge the batteries a little bit and score some brownie points for me – a win-win, right? Well, it was – for the most part. Aiden was great all day, but was still burning a fever. To make matters worse, he was starting to show signs of congestion by that evening. I gave him a bath and he started shaking while in the tub, so I pulled him out to get him dried off. He shivered the entire time I dried him off, so I knew his fever was still getting to him. I took him back into the bathroom, gave him some medicine, and took him into his room to get him settled down. He fell asleep on my shoulder before I had even turned the light off. So, I just walked him around for a few minutes and put him down in bed.

Even though he fell asleep early, his breathing had gotten even worse. I went into his room a couple hours later and put my phone right next to his mouth to record the horrendous sounds he was making. He literally sounded like a 60-year-old overweight man with sleep apnea. The worst part? There was nothing I could do about it. I had already elevated his mattress to give him a little incline and possibly help with the drainage, but it wasn’t helping much. While it was heart-breaking to listen to, at least he was sleeping… as well as he could have been. Again, he only woke up once and I was able to get him back to sleep with some medicine and a few swigs of milk. His fever was still present, but the drugs seemed to be helping stave it off a bit.

He woke up Sunday morning sounding so congested that he was coughing constantly. He was still running a low-grade fever, and now had snot pouring out his nose. I had had enough, it was time something be done about this, once and for all. I called the doctor’s office and said he needed to be seen that day. Mommy B came home from her road trip with Alli and we decided since she was the nurse, she would take Aiden to the doctor and demand more intense treatment as well as an ENT consult. As much as I wanted to go with the poor kid to vent my frustrations that I had built up over the past few weeks, I decided to not let my emotions get too involved and stay home with Alli to keep her away from other sick kids. Mommy B returned home that afternoon with a prescription for a different antibiotic and a breathing treatment. We tried the breathing treatment that afternoon without much success. How many almost-two-year olds enjoy wearing a mask with stuff coming out of it over their face? I basically had to pin Aiden to my chest while Mommy B held the mask in place. It didn’t go very well, obviously. The day rolled on and even though he wasn’t really eating much, he was still chugging milk and other liquids like a champ. Since he was still running a low-grade fever, he couldn’t go to school in the morning – so once again my mom was on duty to come over before I took Alli to school. We were able to get his first dose of the new medicine and some more Motrin in him before bed, and he fell asleep around his usual time. Mommy B and I got things settled around the house and ready for the week – finally getting ourselves in bed around 10pm or so.

Around 11:30pm that night, he woke up moaning like he typically does when he’s uncomfortable. Since I was barely asleep by then anyway, I headed upstairs to get him settled. Little did I know that’s when the real fun would begin.

I picked him up and at first his temperature felt great, so I just rested him on my shoulder and walked him around for a bit. However, after a couple of minutes, he started shivering again like he had the night before. I covered him up to try and get him to feel warm again, but I also noticed that his body temperature was rising by the minute. I instantly flashed back to when I was younger – this was his fever breaking! Even though you’re shaking and “feel” cold, it’s your body’s way of getting rid of the excess heat caused by the virus. I remembered this process, and as much as it sucked to go through, it meant the end to the suffering was near. Or so I thought.

Mommy B and I took turns walking him around, trying to calm him down as I’m sure this was a new and scary experience for him. We even tried giving him something to drink in hopes that would help cool him down. He promptly threw it back up on his pajamas and Mommy B’s shirt. My turn to take over while Mommy B changed. I tried peeling his clothes off so get rid of the vomit but to also let his body cool, but no dice… he wasn’t having it. I put my hand on his back and it felt like I could literally fry an egg on it. Although with as much as he was shaking it would have probably turned out scrambled. Mommy B called her work and told them she wouldn’t be coming in that morning so she could stay home with him. I then called my mom and told her she was off duty in the morning. We walked him around a little while longer, but things weren’t improving at all. Mommy B decided we should take his temperature to see what he was up to. She told me to put the high-tech thermometer she had under his armpit, and add a degree to whatever the readout said – this would be closer to his internal temperature. The thermometer read 103.5F, which meant his internal temperature was actually closer to 104.5F.

Holy crap.

Ok, time for more drastic measures – we needed to take this poor kid to the Emergency Room and get him looked at. I quickly called my mom and she rushed over to the house so Alli could stay asleep while we took Aiden in. We tossed some more clothes in a bag (in case he threw up on us again, which he did) and got in the car. Even though it was illegal as hell, I reclined the front seat and held Aiden to my chest while Mommy B drove. I was as scared as a parent could be the entire drive – what if they find out something is seriously wrong with him? What if it’s some crazy virus they’ve never seen before? What was causing all these symptoms? What if it was nothing and they sent us home with some Tylenol and a huge bill for an ER visit? Well, at that point I didn’t care – I just wanted someone to help my poor child. He’s not even two for crying out loud. There it was, 12:30am on a Monday morning and we were taking Aiden in for his first Emergency Room visit.

By the time we had gotten downtown to Mommy B’s work, he had stopped shaking from the fever. The nurse at the front desk took us back and checked the little man out – his temperature was down to 100.5F, which was a good sign. However, he was still coughing quite a bit and you could still hear his labored breathing. We were finally taken back to see the doctor and they checked a few more things out. Good news was that after they dug some earwax out (which, news to me, apparently hurts like hell) and examined him a bit more, they didn’t see any serious signs of infection. They had given him some more Motrin when we first checked in, so that was also helping with his temperature. The doctor felt that a couple things were at play which were making him so miserable – chances are he was getting over some type of virus which had caused his fever and since he’s so prone to sinus congestion that we was likely just clogged up again. He said he wouldn’t bother doing a viral test because honestly it wouldn’t matter in his course of treatment. He explained a couple other things to us and I must say it was quite a refreshing experience. He was very candid and transparent, just gave us the facts and was clear with his directions. I can understand glossing over things so you don’t scare a child, but I’m a grown man with children of my own, you don’t need to sugar-coat things for me. Just to make sure we left no option unexplored, I let the doctor listen to the recording of Aiden sleeping the night before. I almost had to pick his jaw up off the floor… he literally could not believe that he was hearing a small child making those noises while sleeping. He said, “Uh yeah, I’m calling the ENT doctor you have your consult with right now and labeling this case as URGENT. Oh, and one other thing, we can treat his stuffy nose with Afrin for a little relief. You can buy it at Walmart on the way home.”

Say what? Afrin? The same stuff I used as a kid? You can use that stuff on a two-year-old? How come nobody told me this earlier? Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln*, I would have been stock-piling that stuff months ago! They happen to have some there, so they shot it up his nose and within minutes he was already breathing better. By the time they processed our paperwork and we were able to leave (2:30am), he was like a new man. His fever had gone down a ton, and he was actually able to breathe like a normal person again – hot damn. He even was signing along to the radio in the car on the way home, so I knew he felt better already. It was strange holding him and not hearing him mouth-breathe like a Neanderthal.

*Sorry, Toy Story 2 (Aiden’s favorite) reference.

So we probably really didn’t need to make an ER visit to get Aiden feeling better, but it did accomplish two things we might not have otherwise: 1) We were informed that not only could we start giving him a higher dose of Motrin/Tylenol because he weighs more, but we could also give him Afrin if he was really stuffed up. And, 2) we were able to get bumped to the top of the ENT consult list thanks to the ER doc’s phone call. In fact, we meet with the best ENT that MUSC has on Wednesday to get Aiden checked out. As much as any parent wants to avoid surgery, I know how much better my life was after they removed my tonsils and adenoids. I’m not saying it will be a magic bullet for a two-year old, but I think every little bit will help at this point.

There it was, 3am Monday morning and we had made it back to the house with a (mostly) bouncing baby boy who didn’t really act like he wanted to go back to bed. Luckily, Mommy B took him up to his room and he promptly fell asleep on her shoulder. She put him in bed and he slept for over 5 more hours – and it was probably the best sleep he’s had in weeks. I relieved Tatsy of her duties so she could go home and get some sleep, even though Alli had slept through the whole ordeal not even aware that we had been gone. I finally closed my eyes around 3:30am, just in time for my alarm to go off at 6. I figured since Mommy B was already staying home with Aiden, there was no point in me burning my time off too. I rolled out of bed and dragged my exhausted butt to work by about 7:30am. And just to make sure I was good and tired, I did what I do every Monday… I ran 4 miles during my lunch break.

I’m not nuts – I’m dedicated. I try to keep myself in peak shape to take on whatever challenges these little ones throw at me. We do it all for you, kiddos.

A new chapter – part II

Saturday: Rise and shine around 6:30am thanks to the little alarm clock named Aiden next to my bed. My parents whipped up some breakfast for everyone so we could be energized for the full day of moving we had in front of us. We decided to leave Scarlett at their house for the day so we could freely move things in without having to make sure she didn’t run off. Mommy B and I took the kids over to the new house to get to work and so they could begin getting transitioned to the new place. A neighborhood friend from the old ‘hood came over to help me move the rest of the larger items in. It only took us an hour or so, but that was just to get the truck emptied. Mommy B and I knew we were still going to have to shuffle things around and decide how certain furniture was going to be arranged but at least the heavy lifting was over with. Good thing too, my back was screaming at me already. Around lunch time, my parents came over to help with the kids while we got things organized and put away. It was quite the feeling driving that empty truck back to the U-haul office and tossing them the keys. We had successfully moved our entire lives from one place to another, and even though it wasn’t that far of a move, it still felt like mission accomplished.

On Friday, we had noticed that the HVAC system hadn’t really done a great job of warming the place throughout the day. We just chalked it up to the fact that we had had the door open all day moving stuff in, so didn’t think too much of it. But just to be safe, I called the company that had done the last servicing for the inspection since they would be familiar with it and booked an appointment to come take a look at it on Monday. In the meantime, we had set the system when we left on Friday night figuring that when we came back on Saturday morning the house would be the correct temperature. Yeah, not so much. That’s when I knew something was amiss and it had to get looked at. Luckily the temperature that weekend had been mild, so we weren’t all that uncomfortable.

Aunt Bacon and her boyfriend “Cap” came over to help out as well, even helping with the kids and putting beds together for us while we moved stuff around. Alli skipped her nap that day since she had a birthday party to go to, but Mr. Light Switch went down without a fight and zonked out for a couple hours. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening getting as much put away and set up as we could before everyone passed out. Oh, and my parents brought Scarlett over so she could begin sniffing her new home. It had been a long, busy day but at least we knew everything was moved in and that was a great feeling. As night #1 in our new house began, we were tired yet excited to slowly begin making it our home.

Sunday: We spent the day doing more of the same – unpacking and organizing. Mommy B and I joked about how many times we would ask each other, “Hey, do you know where such-and-such is?” The answer was always, “No.” One of the big issues that we quickly realized we needed to address ASAP was the lack of shelf space in the master bedroom closet. After filling up the few wire shelves that were in place, we still had half our clothes sitting on the floor in our bedroom… some still in trash bags since we ran out of boxes towards the end of packing. Pops came over that day and took measurements on the closet and began drafting up some designs for us so we could maximize the available space. The first floor has 9’ ceilings; you’d think the builder would have installed more than one row of shelving. Anyway, we tried to make the most of it and took plenty of breaks to play with the kids that day. We figured that since they were in a new house and all it probably wouldn’t go over well if we ignored them completely while we unpacked. It took some wrangling that night, but we eventually got them both in bed and had our first Sunday Night Family Dinner at the new house with the rest of the family. We thanked them all for everything they had done for us during this transition, and hopefully they understood how much of a burden they had lifted in taking care of the kids for us while we packed, closed, moved, and unpacked. I honestly don’t know if we could have done it without their help. Well, we could have… but I’m confident that a nervous breakdown for each of us would have likely resulted.

Monday: Aiden didn’t sleep well the night before, so we decided it was time to take him to the doctor. Having an RN for a mom basically means that our kids don’t go to the doctor unless they are on the verge of death. Well, Aiden wasn’t that bad, but he was having major sinus issues (just like his daddy used to) and couldn’t sleep well because he couldn’t breathe well. Thankfully my mom was able to take him to the doctor while I took Alli to school and went to back to work. The doctor agreed that he was having some bad allergies (typical for this time of year) and gave us a few things to relieve his suffering.

Also coming to the house that day was AT&T to reconnect our cable and Internet as well as the HVAC guys to see what was going on with our heat problems. The issue we were experiencing was that the thermostat on the first floor would kick on to get heat flowing down there, but I could feel it coming out of the vents on the second floor. This resulted in not enough heat getting to the first floor to turn the thermostat off and the second floor feeling like a sauna. Everything went well as far as we were told – the AT&T service was connected and the HVAC guy said he reset the damper motor in the air handler so we could get proper air flow to each floor of the house. He only charged us a $65 “diagnostic fee” since they had been out to service the house a few weeks ago. Well, when I got home from work that evening, I noticed that things felt better in the house, but not quite where they should have been. But again, we dealt with it and luckily the temperature outside cooperated.

Tuesday: I called the after-hours line for the HVAC service and told them that whatever they “fixed” on Monday hadn’t worked and that we were still having issues. They informed me that they could have a guy come out that day and I agreed since Mommy B was off work. After spending a couple of hours in the attic fiddling with the system, this new “technician” informed us that the damper was broken and the damper motor was worn out from improper functioning – both of which should be replaced to the tune of $350 plus labor. Well, I had already put a call into our agent informing him of this whole issue and telling him that this should have been something that was addressed prior to closing and should be the seller’s expense. He agreed (somewhat) and informed us that we needed to get a claim in with American Home Shield warranty that we had purchased at closing before any work be done. Unfortunately the service that had now been out to the house three times was not included in their list of preferred vendors, so yet someone else was going to have to come take a look at the system. Furthermore, the rep at AHS had informed our agent that technically dampers are not covered by their warranty. To make matters worse, the seller’s agent was telling our agent that since this was a “new issue” with the HVAC system, the seller’s wouldn’t be liable for compensation. Well, our agent raised holy hell (finally) and pulled some strings and was able to schedule an appointment the next day with a trusted vendor he had used in the past who was covered by the warranty. He advised that we hold off on the financial part of the issue and just focus on getting things properly diagnosed and fixed.

Wednesday: I get a call from the new HVAC guy, Chris, about noon stating he had talked to our agent and would be out at the house sometime that day. He warned that since it was late notice he would have to try to squeeze us in sometime, but at that point I didn’t care if it was 10 o’clock at night, I just wanted the darn thing fixed. So about 6pm Chris rolls in and I give him the rundown. He also looked over the stack of invoices from the previous “technicians” to see what they had done already. He said, “Bottom line, we’ll figure it out. And if we do in fact have to get replacement parts, I’ll force something so that y’all are comfortable in the meantime.” After about 20 minutes of adjustments and another 5-10 minutes of testing, he had the system running completely normal. He informed us that the damper and the motor were just fine and didn’t need to be replaced. In fact, he said the damper motor was brand new and appeared to have been just replaced a few months ago. The issue was that the damper motor hadn’t been set properly – likely the result of a bunk installation – and the previous technicians were just telling us things to get into our wallets. This was causing the damper to not open and close properly which was resulting in the incorrect heat distribution to the entire house… no new parts needed, at all. I gladly paid him the $75 co-pay for the warranty service fee, and thanked him not only for his proper diagnosis and repair work, but also his honesty and transparency. We all slept much better that night with proper temperatures in both floors of the house – what a concept, right?

Thursday: I gathered up my invoices and work summaries and scanned them all to send to my agent. I informed him that I was now out $140 (and a few nights of decent sleep thanks to the kids being uncomfortable in the second-floor sauna) to correct an issue that should have been addressed by the original HVAC company before the house was sold. It was their shoddy installation that botched this job in the first place, and I would not be paying them a penny for their “work” and I didn’t appreciate them trying to take me to the cleaners saying things needed to be replaced when they clearly did not. He promptly contacted the seller’s agent and the previous HVAC company and informed them of our findings. The seller’s agent finally got back to us and said that the company would not charge us the $65 and that the seller’s would cut us a check for the $75 co-pay. Well thank god for small favors. Things finally seemed like they were falling into place for us.

Friday: Pops came over that night after the kids were in bed and showed us the master bedroom closet designs he had drawn up for us during the week. I had removed the clothes and ripped the wire shelves off the walls already, so he did a quick spackle job to patch the holes. That way we could hit the ground running the next morning with sanding, painting, and installing the new shelving.

Weekend: I spent the majority of both days in the closet with Pops, doing what we do best – remodeling. I sanded while he nailed, then I cut in while he rolled the paint. At the end of the first day I felt like I had been in a casino – no windows, only artificial light; people only popping in every couple of hours to see if you need anything; and before you know it, it’s night time and you haven’t seen daylight at all. We wrapped things up on Sunday morning and I slapped a little more paint on a few areas that needed it. We let it dry for a few hours while taking the kids out to play in the nice weather. It was tiring work, but well worth it in the end. By Sunday night, Mommy B and I were finally able to get all of our clothes off the bedroom floor and into a closet we could only have dreamed of. There is plenty of hanging space now and more shelf space than we know what to do with. Except for a shoe rack (or two) that we’re debating installing next, we’ve utilized just about every square inch of space in that closet. Not only is the closet itself a sight to behold, but we finally have a bedroom floor again! This means that we can begin organizing our room to look the way we want it – rearranging furniture and hanging things on the wall. And who knows, maybe even a little more painting could be in order. I’m very happy how things turned out, and I know it will become a major selling point of the house years from now when we decide to move again. But now that things are looking up after a rocky start to the week, I’m hoping that doesn’t happen for many, many years.